November Rain

I know it’s been awhile since the last post. I actually skipped over the whole month of November, but so much happened to keep me busy. I haven’t had a chance to catch up with my faithful readers. There is one advantage to working nights. When you are off work, you have this free block of time at night. So here we are, in the throes of insomnia updating you guys on what’s going on.

For starters, I have returned to work after a brief 2.5 month absence. Work has not changed much. Same old place, same old job, same old workers. The only thing that seems to be different is me. Lying on your back for almost three months gives you a bit of perspective that you can’t get any other way. Let me explain. See, during my sick leave I slept on our couch. I did this with the idea that, should my gaping second anus leak or drain, it could drain into the puppy pads lining the couch. That’s right, I used puppy training pads to keep drainage to a minimum. The point being that, as I slept on the couch, my peaceful slumber would be disturbed at about 630 every morning by an old woman rummaging around for coffee to go with her cigarettes. So by 8 am, I was up and getting my day started. This meant that by 11 pm or so, I was ready to hit the hay. And after that long, I got used to it. Now my schedule is back to third shift, coming in at 9 pm and getting off at 730 am. So obviously there’s a conflict there, as sometimes I sleep great and sometimes my body wants to stay up after I get off work.

I also am dealing with the very harsh reality of my own physical limitations. I can’t go at things like I used to anymore. I can’t go all day, get an hour of sleep, and be good for ten hours at work anymore. And the tell tale sign of not getting all the groceries out of the car in one trip. Now I take a few trips to get it done. I know, shocking. I can’t go gangbusters at any activity to too long without a break. But hey, breaks are great. As long as it gets done, right?

I have resumed drinking, albeit in less quantities. It was more of a spite thing with my “medical professionals.” You see, I was trying to get my prescriptions from the original doctor at the hospital refilled, and the jackasses I go to for medical care couldn’t figure out if they were supposed to fill it, or if it was another doctor’s job. It was the most infuriating game of Tag ever, and so I just quit taking the meds. I haven’t had any side effects, so screw all of them anyway. And I have cut the amount of alcohol tremendously. Not drinking for almost three months showed me exactly how much I was drinking, and how much it had taken over all aspects of my free time. Now I drink in a more normal fashion, in social settings and some on weekends. Not the three plus cases of beer like in the past. It was just too much.

And now, a gift-giving guide. I was recently confronted with buying a gift for a dude, and realized I didn’t know the proper etiquette. It was two bottles of liquor that he really likes. As I bought these, I tried to figure out if they needed to be wrapped. Is a gift bag in order? Or do I, as a dude, hand another dude his liquor and just say cheers? Sensing that I was the more senior adult in this situation, I opted for the gift bag. Of course, one of the handles broke when I handed it to him. Strangely, it didn’t affect the taste of the gin or the whiskey. PS Pinnacle makes gin and it’s delicious. And just try Jameson if you haven’t. You won’t be disappointed. Which brings us to the gift guide. For all dudes who drink, a six pack of his favorite suds, or a decent sized bottle of the good stuff will suffice. Gift bag optional. And for those dudes that do not drink, I’m sure a gift card to his favorite sports bar/steakhouse will suffice. Or a six pack of soda/water. The poor sap has to drink something.

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